Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she peed on how many people?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
