he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
