He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you never un-have a 4some
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
