so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
