Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
