like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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