She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
