Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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