Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize