If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
