very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
