Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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