is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
