Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
