brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
