What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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