singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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