i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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