Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
