Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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