It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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