Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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