Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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