I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
