im holly from the hills drunk
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
