I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
