if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
