is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
