what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
