If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
