He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
