In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
