is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
