This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
