but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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