Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My ass is underappreciated
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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