You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
