Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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