woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
