I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am naked and annoyed.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize