do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
