Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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