Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize