so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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