I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize