carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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