just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How does one acquire holy water?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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