Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
