The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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