Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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