We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
