Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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