We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
