so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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