I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
