508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
