My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize