Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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