This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
