i think my mom watched the whole time
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
