Screwed.edu
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
one might say we're banned from that church
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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