Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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