just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
