I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
