I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
