She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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