dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
