Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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