ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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