I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
