just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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