i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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