One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
