Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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