I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
