what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
