3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
