That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
