she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
MIDGETS
????
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My life is pants optional.
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