Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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